Emotional eating occurs when a person eats, not because they are actually hungry, but because they want to feed a feeling. When people are stressed, their brain sends wrong signals to their body and they are looking at food, especially fatty, sugary junk food, to bring them peace. But does it? The same voice that says ,“Just have one, it will make you feel better!” suspiciously sounds the same as the voice that says “You are worthless! You have no self control!”
There are many situations that influence our desire to “consume”. For both men and women it starts with a response to stress and negative emotions.
For women, being isolated and bored alone at home, being pregnant and having a baby, a working spouse who travels, a chaotic and unstructured environment, loss of support network of friends and family or colleagues, frustration, anger and resentment of not liking your new environment, poor self-esteem or feeling insecure. There is also an unspoken rule we place on ourselves that we need to “handle it”, I don’t want to burden anyone, it’s a private matter, everyone else is handling it. Trust me, there are many others dying to put a voice to their silent screams.
For men, boredom, stress and anxiety. They may eat to soothe the compulsion to drink or use drugs (women do this as well). Our culture idealizes the man as big and strong, they are not encouraged to watch what they eat. For some men, the transition in marriage. Trying to please a woman, wanting to show her that they enjoy her cooking. Men are often urged to take a second helping, and many do, just to avoid insulting the chef. It is one thing to enjoy food, it is quite another to abuse it. Men are definitely not encouraged to share their feelings!
These are only a few of the driving forces behind the desire to eat. No diet, no exercise program, no surgery will relieve you of your addiction to food. Why? Because they do not address the profound reasons for your bad eating habits. The more you eat and gain weight the more frustrated you get and the more you eat. This is a vicious cycle that becomes a habit. A habit of weight up and down like a yo-yo, triggering more serious health problems such as diabetes, hypertension and heart attacks. In addition, as you get older it becomes more difficult to lose this extra weight.
The answer is not more rigid programs or over identifying with the problem. It is also not trying to make the food behave. The answer is support, accountability, and a commitment to exercise and a healthy diet. And of course, you have to WANT to.
1. Look for help: Whether it be a good friend, mentor, Pastor, group or professional counselor, seek to change your response to stress and negative emotions. Whatever is triggering your response, you need to address the issue. Just let your stuff hit the fan, so to speak. Then to have someone come along side you in accountability can be highly effect in changing your outlook.
2. If boredom is the reason for overeating: Is there something you always wanted to do, a project or something you wanted to learn but you never had time for? Ask people who share your same interests to help you find the resources. Volunteer at school, church, the library or local plant nursery. Be involved in your local community. Giving without expecting anything in return and helping others usually triggers the production of pleasure hormones in your brain so you are less tempted to eat to get the same good feeling.
4. Exercising is good: But try to find physical activities with possibilities to socialize by joining a group. This can be group exercise, walking, hiking, biking or even visiting local attractions.
5. Be kind to yourself: Accept emotional eating as a legitimate coping choice and tolerate some craving. Organize regularly a dinner or a lunch with your spouse or friends and eat what you like, not out of control, but a scheduled “cheat”. Get back on track the next couple of days by eating fish, lean meats and vegetables, do one more hour of exercise during the week.
6. Do not make eating an event, or try to eat while doing something else: Make a conscious choice of what you are eating, sit down and concentrate on eating only. Eat slowly, pause often, use small plates.
7. Surround yourself with foods that fuel you. Culture makes it very easy to eat quickly and conveniently. When we are stressed, we want to grab processed carbs or fast food. But that food is not fuel, and is not meant to be consumed regularly. Organize your fridge in stations. Left overs, sandwich station, fruits, quick crunchy veggies, natural nut butters, whole grain breads. Make up a larger batch of oatmeal to eat throughout the weak. You can dress it up different each day. Purchase disposable paper table wear with lids from your local restaurant supply store (recyclable of course!) If these foods are at your fingertips, when the crunch comes, you can grab and go from your own home.
Guilt only makes you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, you are experiencing a negative emotion. That is not motivating. You can't change what has been. You can only change what is ahead.
There comes a time when you just have to accept that you have a weakness or a struggle in this area but then move on. Fitness is a lifestyle that may not come easily to some people. But that doesn't mean it can't happen.
Many people who struggle with their weight and eating right have some deep-seated emotional issues to deal with. Don’t expect to move the mountain in one day. Take it a day at a time. But realize, there is no food out there that will make you feel better about what you are feeling.
There are many situations that influence our desire to “consume”. For both men and women it starts with a response to stress and negative emotions.
For women, being isolated and bored alone at home, being pregnant and having a baby, a working spouse who travels, a chaotic and unstructured environment, loss of support network of friends and family or colleagues, frustration, anger and resentment of not liking your new environment, poor self-esteem or feeling insecure. There is also an unspoken rule we place on ourselves that we need to “handle it”, I don’t want to burden anyone, it’s a private matter, everyone else is handling it. Trust me, there are many others dying to put a voice to their silent screams.
For men, boredom, stress and anxiety. They may eat to soothe the compulsion to drink or use drugs (women do this as well). Our culture idealizes the man as big and strong, they are not encouraged to watch what they eat. For some men, the transition in marriage. Trying to please a woman, wanting to show her that they enjoy her cooking. Men are often urged to take a second helping, and many do, just to avoid insulting the chef. It is one thing to enjoy food, it is quite another to abuse it. Men are definitely not encouraged to share their feelings!
These are only a few of the driving forces behind the desire to eat. No diet, no exercise program, no surgery will relieve you of your addiction to food. Why? Because they do not address the profound reasons for your bad eating habits. The more you eat and gain weight the more frustrated you get and the more you eat. This is a vicious cycle that becomes a habit. A habit of weight up and down like a yo-yo, triggering more serious health problems such as diabetes, hypertension and heart attacks. In addition, as you get older it becomes more difficult to lose this extra weight.
The answer is not more rigid programs or over identifying with the problem. It is also not trying to make the food behave. The answer is support, accountability, and a commitment to exercise and a healthy diet. And of course, you have to WANT to.
1. Look for help: Whether it be a good friend, mentor, Pastor, group or professional counselor, seek to change your response to stress and negative emotions. Whatever is triggering your response, you need to address the issue. Just let your stuff hit the fan, so to speak. Then to have someone come along side you in accountability can be highly effect in changing your outlook.
2. If boredom is the reason for overeating: Is there something you always wanted to do, a project or something you wanted to learn but you never had time for? Ask people who share your same interests to help you find the resources. Volunteer at school, church, the library or local plant nursery. Be involved in your local community. Giving without expecting anything in return and helping others usually triggers the production of pleasure hormones in your brain so you are less tempted to eat to get the same good feeling.
4. Exercising is good: But try to find physical activities with possibilities to socialize by joining a group. This can be group exercise, walking, hiking, biking or even visiting local attractions.
5. Be kind to yourself: Accept emotional eating as a legitimate coping choice and tolerate some craving. Organize regularly a dinner or a lunch with your spouse or friends and eat what you like, not out of control, but a scheduled “cheat”. Get back on track the next couple of days by eating fish, lean meats and vegetables, do one more hour of exercise during the week.
6. Do not make eating an event, or try to eat while doing something else: Make a conscious choice of what you are eating, sit down and concentrate on eating only. Eat slowly, pause often, use small plates.
7. Surround yourself with foods that fuel you. Culture makes it very easy to eat quickly and conveniently. When we are stressed, we want to grab processed carbs or fast food. But that food is not fuel, and is not meant to be consumed regularly. Organize your fridge in stations. Left overs, sandwich station, fruits, quick crunchy veggies, natural nut butters, whole grain breads. Make up a larger batch of oatmeal to eat throughout the weak. You can dress it up different each day. Purchase disposable paper table wear with lids from your local restaurant supply store (recyclable of course!) If these foods are at your fingertips, when the crunch comes, you can grab and go from your own home.
Guilt only makes you feel bad about yourself. When you feel bad about yourself, you are experiencing a negative emotion. That is not motivating. You can't change what has been. You can only change what is ahead.
There comes a time when you just have to accept that you have a weakness or a struggle in this area but then move on. Fitness is a lifestyle that may not come easily to some people. But that doesn't mean it can't happen.
Many people who struggle with their weight and eating right have some deep-seated emotional issues to deal with. Don’t expect to move the mountain in one day. Take it a day at a time. But realize, there is no food out there that will make you feel better about what you are feeling.
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